The Beauty Of Sadness And Longing

There is a beautiful kind of sadness -- one most peo

ple think they shouldn't feel, that should be endured and welcomed at least, if not celebrated.

This Sadness is transcendent, it is not merely the feeling of absence, but in reality is the presence of the awareness of the longing for the one you love.

It would be easy to conclude that this feeling is a sign of disconnection from joy, an unfortunate happening that would make an easy target for well-meaning givers of advice to quote from their favorite scripture, and act as if they know it all.

But here I'm not talking about a different form of sadness. I am talking about another kind -- a holy melancholy that sculpts, deepens, and refines from within.

Like the dusk that follows day, it is not deprived of light, but only another shade of light. It is darker, yes, but isn't it the darkness that allows the stars to shine?

If the night never came how would we be able to enjoy the colors of the day, if the season of fall disappeared, who would value the blooms of spring.

When we are in presence of our beloved, we feel so many different emotions, love, joy, humor.

But when the Beloved departs an uncomfortable feeling sometimes rises.

It Feels as if the moon is full, but the night is empty – as if you are thirsty for something and there is nothing that can fill you again, and the the only thing left to drink now is a bucket of tears and you cannot find the handle.

Then somewhere off in the distance you hear the sound of cello. Is it sad or beautiful? In That moment you know that it is beautifully sad.

The One for whom you breathe has taken his leave and is playing hide and seek. Drawn by the music of this sweet sadness, you follow, feeling your way like a blind man, singing quiet songs of praise and wondering if what you hear is the sound of your own voice or your name being called.

You know, and have always known, that the Beloved has left the world behind as a gift. But you do not want the gift. You want the Giver.

In your quest to make that sadness go away, you also throw the gift that your beloved left behind.

You give up on the things that s/he wanted for you; things that would have made him happy.

Instead of savoring the longing and the love that he left behind, you just let everything go, in hope of the return of someone who will never come back.

A Lover's Tale

The Following Is A Story Of A Witch And A Worrier, A Story Of Love, War, Pride And Anger.

It was one of those winter night that people dreaded, the storm on its peak with rain falling hard and wind cold as ice were clawing her. But she had duty to attend, being a wiccan, she often felt a pull towards things, had blurred visions, Alana thought it was nature's way to tell her where she was needed, and of course being blessed with a gift, she had to obey the orders.

That is why even on a night like this, she walked through fields to reach the stone circle, where she thought her next task awaited her. she was cold till her bone, walking in a storm like such, she thought she wouldn't ever be warm again.

On reaching the standing stones, she saw what had brought her there, a wounded man lay in center. She walked as quickly as she could to him and saw that it was no ordinary man that she had come to, he was a worrier, one that had been very seriously injured.

She placed her hand on his heart and with the heat of her magik warmed him enough, so he could survive the walk back home.

Arden thought that when his body heated, that he had died and reached heaven, because when he opened his eyes, he saw an angel, one with big brown eyes and lovely long red hair. He felt her touch him, lift him and drag him somewhere, he could have walked but his body had refused to do so. Alana after a long walk home put the worrier on the big couch in the parlor and snapped her fingers to light, being a witch was as much pleasure as responsibility.as she moved around to gather warm clothes and herbs for his wounds, all Arden could do was hold on to her scent and touch to keep his heart beating. He felt when she started applying her medicine on his wounds but after a while he couldn't remember anything a part from the dream he had about her.

The next morning Alana was sure enough that Arden would wake up that she had already prepared breakfast, and he did gain consciousness, and the first thing his eyes saw were her, the beautiful witch dress in a fancy crimson gown, her hair long and tumbled over her shoulders, the big brown eyes. She was like a miracle, god's most precious creation, she had come to his rescue when he thought that death was almost there.

Alana introduced herself as a witch, but he didn't seem to care, most often people ran away without even thanking her for helping, but The Warrior was indeed brave because he seemed to be unaffected by the fact that she could actually spin spells and turn him into a frog. that was when she fell in love with him, a man as brave inside as outside, now she knew why the angels had sent her to save him, because he was the one she'd been waiting for.

Over the next few days, Arden and Alana Stayed together, he watched her cook food for him, and she knew that he was watching her. Everyday when the sun came out both of them would start another day together, comforted by each other, and when the moon lit the night they would warm themselves by making love, the kind she had always wanted, the sort she had always dreamed about.

On the night of the solstice, she was going to tell him Something special, something that would, she thought, would either make him weep in joy or dance with happiness. The love they'd made with the moon and stars as witnesses, was now blooming in her belly.

When she found Arden he was wearing his armor, and was about to mount his horse. When she questioned him, he simply said that he was a worrier and was required in the battle field. Stunned by his reply, she asked if he loved her, he did love her, but he would not sideline his duty for it.

He never loved her enough to be with her, not forever, not for family. So he went away, she didnt tell him about the baby she carried because she wanted him to stay for her, because he loved her enough, which she now knew that he didn't. So she cried and cried hard, waiting for him to come back, but he never did. her love wasn't enough for him, she wasn't enough for him, he loved his pride more.

She watching him drift farther and farther away, and with him she saw the life she wanted walk away from her door step. she birthed his baby alone, their love child alone. He Died in the battle, she knew the moment he fell, that his life was about to end, she saw him in the fire, she saw him bleed to death.

The moment his breath stopped, Alana chose to stop her's as well, because she loved enough to die if it meant that they could be together.

Still when the moon is full or a storm raging, Alana is seen with her Warrior embracing each other in the standing stone circle.

Women

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day which drove me to write this. He thinks that women are inferior then men in all possible ways. It started with that women cannot drive as good as men, then women are not physically as strong as men, and then he stated the same in a lot of fields. I started to argue but then i stopped, its not really his fault, i bet 85% of men in the world think like that, its like they've been conditioned since the start to believe that women are weaker than them in everything.

I thought a lot about it, and i figured no matter what happens, i would never in my entire life agree that women are any less then men. Maybe they are not as good drivers as men are, and not all that strong physically, but then there are so many things a women can do that men cannot. For example giving birth, i think that giving a piece of yourself to make life is a job of the highest difficulty and for that women should be given place next to god, because it is believed that god is the creator of all mankind.

Everyday in the morning i get up to see my mom working around the house, she makes the place we live in beautiful, she fills it with love. In college i see so many women, each different from the other, teaching us things that will help us achieve success in life. i wont say that men are inferior but i will never agree that women are any less.

When i look around and see men, i see them doing what they've always done, what they are expected to do. They work, the bread winners, the heir to carry forward the family name. And when i see women, I see them doing everything, chores that are expected as well as the things they do to prove themselves, they handle the household, make babies and they also work to earn, they drive so that they don't have to depend on anyone for anything.

i wont talk about the female child killing everyone knows about it, the only thing i want the people that support this horrible ritual to know is that, before killing a girl they should think that it was a women that gave them life.

And to all the male chauvinists who still think women are inferior, i would certainly like to see you guys give birth, it would be the most pleasant sight.

For all the girls who think they are not good enough, i can only say that, you are whatever you think of yourself, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent, its you're life, live it the you want, make your own mistakes, make your own magic moments and never let anyone make you think that you cannot because you can.

A - Z Of Amity

Second year and it already feels like that amity is the centre of my universe, I know there’s still a lot of time yet to be spent in amity, but I’ve wanted to write this post ever since a friend of mine wrote something similar.

It’s not about specific friends or specific moments. Its about the entire package, the entire journey and the entire experience.

Spoiler Alert: It’s a long post. But I couldn’t write less. Read in two/three/four/ten installments if you like.

A for Amity

At amity university we nurture talent… more like torture… lol.. But seriously.. Since the day I took admission in amity the needle of my life’s craze-o-meter has done nothing but go up. The Gate-out parties, bunking classes, annoying teachers, fests, sports, everything about amity makes you feel all naughty and mischievous

B for Bunking.

Well just who could have thought that bunking could be so fun, especially, when all your friends sneak out after you. Everyone gets into some sort of moving vehicles, next destination the mall with a movie hall. Our oh so special class 1B had a mass bunk in the third week of first year, who would have thought that first years can be so fast.

C for Canteen

If only, our d block canteen served good food in that price… the livelihood of the food stalls outside campus who have been snatched away from them. (in short, bad food)

D for Defaulter

Did I hear the attendance cut-off was 75 percent? Haha. Only if the movies, canteen and sleep wasn’t so attractive, I bet everyone could have managed it. Then the assignments. Hmmmm…… I’m still thinking that what was it about them that I liked…thinking.. thinking….still thinking…

E for Elections

That was fun and easy. Buzz .. 1 new message… vote for utkarsh bali…buzz I new message… vote for utkarsh bali… buzz… 1 new message…vote for utkarsh bali.

Election day… vote utkarsh bali.

Result utkarsh bas been seleted as the president.. hurray…

F for Faisal Sir

Ahh… sigh… hmmm… sigh… smiles…. Ahhh…. Sigh…

I first spoke to faisal sir when I was getting registered for the 1^st semester. The first and the last.

After that whenever I saw him all I could manage was Ahh… sigh… hmmm… sigh… smiles…. Ahhh…. Sigh…

G for Grace Marks
33 % marks ya 4 point ki keemat tum kya jaano teacher babu…However hard I study, there is always that one/two paper that scares the shit out of me during the after exam vacatio. 40 in the mark sheet is prettier than anything in this world.

H for H-block

Amity’s mini mall, it has a salon, a stationary, a book store, dominos, baskin robins, a recharge wala… I think no “DU” college would have anything nearing our H block inside their campus, and then people delhi university is better… huh… silly kids.

I for Ice Breaking

We signed affidavits stating that we will neither indulge nor entertain ragging. But you know there’s always a plan B, that ice braking.. plan B for anti ragging documents. In presence of teacher, seniors interact with their juniors. Ahem ahem… less interaction and more of action. But what the hell it was fun.

J for Jab Mila Tu rut u ru tu….

Friends…. My time has been defined by friends. The experiences, the laughs, the debates, the fights, the late nights, the timepass.

“Jo aadhe se hum hain, woh poore ho tumse
Na jaane yeh sauda bhi kab tay huya
Adhoore se kisse, barabar ke hisse
Tu dil to main dua

Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..”

K for Karan Bhasin

Well what can I say about him.. I think my description of time in amity will be incomplete without him..

He is one guy, who I think is never sad, or atleast doesn’t show it. He has entertained the entire class with his ‘Looooser” word insult, frog like voice and extremely low waist jeans. Though I should say that the entertain did often cost raksha maam a head ache but that didn’t seem to stop him.

L for Language

Man this is a big one…. I have seen here that your sentence cannot finish without using the F-word. I was pretty naïve to think that oh.. girl don’t use big abusive words.. but man amity proved me wrong. *Shock* O_o

M for Movies

I don’t think in the eighteen years of my life I have seen as many movies in a theater then I have in the past 1 year, class bunk karke movie dekhne ka maza hi kuch aur hota hai.

N for Nautanki

In our big picture the only thing that I enjoyed was the Macbeth play, with pray acting all gay and reading twilight, it was damn fun, I think every student in asco if not success in journalism can always try for acting…

O for Overwhelming moments.
There are times when you feel so good, that the whole week’s schedule can take a walk. Moments which can keep you cheered up in the not so good times. I have had loads of them, if I had to mention one, it would definitely be the first mass bunk.. when our entire class went the small tantra and crowded the dance floor, I don’t think I can ever forget that.

P for Picture uploading

Amity somehow has a very big effect on people.. they become Photo-holics. I’ve clicked more than a hundred pictures in our 1^st year of myself and friends. Guess that makes me sorta self obsessed.

Q For Questions

Every teacher has a question for us, but no one has the answer. How strange in a class of about 50 students, everyone waits for either swati or aakash to answer and the teacher tells them to keep quiet… lol

R For Raksha Maam

Our mentor… the only one who can handle 1B.. :-D … what can I say about Raksha Maam.. she is one in million.. she can be as dangerous as Gabbar one minute and A Guardian Angel The Next. She will scold us, threaten us but if someone else does it .. she will fight for us.. with us…

S For Sangathan

Sangathan… hehehehe… gives lots of free classes… most of the male gentry participates in god knows how many sports… and then we get free classes and go out to cheer our department teams.. on the final day of sangathan.. there are march pasts.. and a day filled with fun.

T For Tweets

Sassy comments by girls, excellent one liners by faculty, posts from friends.

U For Unity

I’m not sure if our class has a very united front or not, but I certainly like to think that.

V for Vanity

I thought that it was the amity girls that keep up with trends and dress well with lots of make up.. but then.. There are guys also.. Who take part in this vanity fair.

W For Wake Up

I have had more nights than days, its an amity habit I guess. Sleep late at night and having a crappy morning.. missing morning also sometimes… I have had so many people trying their best to wake me up in the morning, and thank you for the patience.

X for Xerox

Notes… oh! my god … a week before the exams start .. I think that’s the time our photocopy wala man earns the most.. people who haven’t attending classes all year.. rush with notes to them.

Y for You All.
We if you managed to read this excessively long post till here, you need a pat. Haha. There have been great number of people who I have had a good time with. Cannot name all ofcourse. ‘You all’ is for every person that made this Amity experience worthwhile. We might have met once, we might have met daily, we might have had more chats than talks, you might have been a senior.. with damn good looks… this is just for everyone….

Z for Zoo

this special zoo has plain clothes / human skinned animals. They are primarily donkeys with Z for Zero IQ. But a few blood hungry carnivores (faculty), beautiful Unicorns (Sexy Girls) and jumping Monkeys ( All The guys)

There are times when you might wish that you could change someone, i have tried it,almost all my life, to mold the one person i want in my life according to my fantasies, but the only person you can have absolute control over is you.

There may be times when you wish that something did not happen, but once time has passed there is no going back, because whatever you do, you have to live with. life is like a blank canvas, you can paint it with whatever colors you like, but once the colors are on it, you cant change it. you just have to take a fresh new canvas and begin again.

Concentrate on the things that you can control, take charge of your life and make the most of every day, no matter what happens, have faith in yourself, because no matter what the world says, you'll always be what you want to, even god gives you that sort of control of your life.

Don't waste energy trying to change the unchangeable, work with it, if its something that you really really want, you'll make it work.

In the blink of an eye that humans have occupied mother earth, we have evolved over millions of years to become the what you see in the mirror every day.

The only way we grow / evolve as people, is by facing new problems or new experiences. And if we had not faced any problems, then we would probably still be single cell life forms not up to much at all.

Necessity creates demand which commands action and the outcome is a result. And if the result is not the desired one, it all starts again!

Face every day with a positive attitude, learn from your experiences, take appropriate action to overcome what ever stands in your way and you will evolve in to the super human that you are meant to be.

Everyday In The Morning I Make A List In My head ''Things To Do'' At Night When I Sit and think about the day i realise, that i did everything that was not on my list. I frown a lil then sigh heavily, but then i think, what the hell, my day was as good as it could have been, so what if things didnt go as i planned At the end what matters is that everything i did made me and the people around me happy.

In the pursuit of something big, you tend to miss the small little things in life, its not wrong to have high aspirations, its wrong to have only them.

because just like shahrukh tweeted some time back...

"Dont offer urself the luxury of being crushed under the weight of ur regrets.it dont matter in the face of death."